Being in a long distance relationship can be considerably hard, especially when there are certain bumps in the roads where you could really benefit from having your partner by your side, supporting you, holding you, catching you before you hit the ground. Other times, you just don’t want them around point blank. It’s irritating that I have to constantly think what time it is in Maine, how many hours does he have left to sleep before I think it’s suitable for me to be able to call him and wake him up and explain everything that is currently eating away at my insides.
Sometimes, these things can be so pathetic, like, I could have forgot to wash something however not washing that one thing has cost me to be late getting the children ready or they can be huge “fighting with the family and I just want to cry in your arms” problems.
Not to mention the whole miscarriage part of things, I think for me so far that is the hardest part of doing this long distance relationship. Not having him there whilst we was going through that was devastating, but you kinda have to just get on with it?
However, what makes this all worth it, what really makes me step back and think, “This is it.” When you know deep inside that he’s the one, that he does the most beautiful and amazingly romantic things, like sending me roses, with Blink 182 lyrics inside the card just so that I know who sent them and cry at the meaning behind his “just because” reasoning to show me that he’s thinking of me/loves me. I get all these little presents, whether it’s kylies new lipstick, flowers or even the cutest little message to wake up too.
I am so glad we’ve made it this far already! Sometimes I find myself staring at my gorgeous engagement ring like “Is this real, did this really happen?” because I still cannot believe that God put us on this path together, that he is the reason we are stood here today. Praying and counting down the hours till we see one another again. To feel each other in our arms, there is something so magical about the moments spent with him. To think we’ve almost made it a year excites me! He still chose me, out of everyone. Everyday I count my blessings because boy, believe me when I tell you I hit the jackpot. I’ve never met anyone with such a passion towards family and putting me first, his caring soul completely takes over any negative thoughts he has. Knowing that this guy will do everything in his power to put my happiness above all else. The feeling he gives me each day that I feel wanted, I know I am loved, I am gaining my confidence within my looks, whilst he also lets me jam out to some Nicki Minaj and Drake without a single pass of judgement. He’s the guy that you read memes about, the “goals”, the “get yourself a man that can..” He is literally my everything and more. I will never stop with the Man Crush Mondays! The fact that he does the same for me but on a Wednesday without being prompted. It’s an amazing feeling to know that he’s not afraid to show me off, that I am his, he is mine. He’s not keeping me a secret and it’s perfect. It really eases my nerves on the whole distance thing. I know he’s not going to cheat on me, he’s literally not that guy.
I never dreamed that I would ever find my happy ending. Each day we are faced with another step closer to being together, although this wedding planning is beyond the worst to plan, trying to keep all family members happy, whilst trying to make sure that you’re putting your relationship with each other first, all the while the countdown for the next visit is dawning…
Plus, Get yourself a guy that is willing and wanting to fly to the uk JUST so he can see you, and go to a Justin Bieber concert with you. I think I am literally winning at life right now. Perfect fiance. Perfect children. Perfect life.